Trust (July 1, 2005 - September 21, 2008)

Trust

"What happens when trust is lost?," Mohinder Suresh (Heroes) asks. A very thoughtful question. Previously, I found it easy to answer. You go on living because trust, like love, will find you again. But that was the romantic in me, who also died last September 21, 2008.

Through the past couple of years, it has been difficult to put trust in people. Come to think of it, this is the first really personal blog I've posted. I guess now, more than ever before, I feel alone. I've been let down by almost everybody I respected and considered dear yet somehow I got through all of it seemingly unscathed. I am aware that people are flawed. But to be let down, to be disappointed, to be played, to be underestimated, to be deemed insignificant, to be ignored and discarded over and over takes its toll. More so if those times that you would decide to put your trust in somebody are few and far between.


People always have their own agenda. Parents, as much as they can, get their children to follow a plan even if it is just for their peace of mind. Mentors are never selfless nor forthcoming enough to their students either because of pride or slightly more sinister reasons. Friends always have a secret or two they're not telling you about out of respect, or for fear of hurting you. The latter eventually happens usually later rather than sooner and by then, the pain would have been doubled and there might not be enough trust left to salvage the relationship.


It apears it is now too much to ask for a little honesty. I have come to accept that people are "multifaceted" individuals changing mask after mask as the need arises. Some people lie straight to my face, deny until they run out of breath and die. Others play the innocent, confide in me in the guise of someone looking for advice or an objective eye to get me on their side and then, would not have the decency to own up to their mistake when they're caught in the act. I guess everything is really just that -- an act.


I don't judge people. People will do what they have to do or what they want to do regardless of the repercussions. Especially those with the means to get away with it. All I ask is for you to tell me what you want to do but don't ask or expect me to support you in every decision. Ask me to keep it secret, I will. Just don't play me for a fool. I already am.

Release of the Sea Turtles

(Original posting September 14, 2008)


People use the expression "chance of a lifetime" quite carelessly these days and when they do get that chance, hesitate to take it. But not a GE Volunteer. Last September 13, 2008, ten volunteers from GEMSPI led by Ann Bayan-Flora, travelled to Morong, Bataan and took part in a truly rare event - the release of sea turtle (pawikan) hatchlings of the Olive Ridley variety.

The hatching of sea turtle eggs happens only every 20 to 25 years, the time it takes for the female to reach maturity and reproduce. About 50 hatchlings were released to the ocean that day and sadly, only a handful of them will survive to reach the mature age. The release is done in the morning because artificial lighting disorients and attracts baby turtles after emergence. Many hatchlings die and not make it to the sea because of this. The few who are lucky enough to grow into maturity face another threat. Marine turtes are reptiles. They have lungs and need to breathe air from the surface every few minutes of swimming underwater. Accidental catch by traps and nets may drown and kill them.

Aside from the Olive Ridley sea turtle variety, the sanctuary also houses two other varieties - the Loggerhead and the Hawksbill- all of which are endangered species. The community-based pawikan conservation project is by Bantay Pawikan, Inc. (www.communityturtles.netfirms.com/index.htm) assisted by Unlad Bataan PRMM Chapter, the Bataan Provincial Government, the PCP-PAWB-DENR and funded by the United Nations Development Program (UNDP) and GEF Small Grants Program.

A banner in the sanctuary offers some sound advice for people who wouldn't want to miss chances that come along rarely: Experience a chance of a lifetime. Adopt a sea turtle and in your hands, hold the future!

Hope rekindled (May 2001 - May 2005; August, 2008 ---)

Hope rekindled
(Original posting August 31, 2008)

Saturday mornings are usually dull and uneventful. It’s either we’re catching up on our sleep or nursing a hangover from the night before. But last August 30, 2008 was different. Together with two representatives from Child Hope Asia, Glyr Delusa and Aileen Esguerra, eight GE Volunteers headed by Ann Lorrein Bayan gathered 30 street children and toured them to Museo Pambata in Kalaw, Manila.



Designed by William E. Parsons in 1907 and erected in 1910, the building in Kalaw, Manila is a traditional example of American architecture. Previously a home to the Museum of Philippine Art, it is now the Children’s Museum of Manila. As the latter, it is an interactive, visual feast for children of all ages. It boasts of several “themed” rooms where children can explore, play and learn all at the same time. I came up with names for these themed sections for descriptive purposes (ok, so I forgot how the museum people labeled them).

The very first room we entered was the Anatomy Room. Our entrance to this room was unique to say the least. We got in by going through a giant lady’s mouth, crawled on her tongue and bumped our heads on her tonsils. We walked on thru her throat and came out to with a deeper understanding of how our body works. After this trip, a fellow volunteer was kind enough to educate me more on anatomy and how solvents can keep you full for a day.





Next up was the Pamilihang Bayan (market) where we got to see replicas of typical Filipino livelihood like rice, fish, fruit and vegetable stalls, handicrafts, a barbershop, a shoemaker’s shop, a bakery, a news stand, a sari-sari (variety) store, a pharmacy and even a carinderia (eatery). I guess the kids’ favorite was the fire station where they got to dress up in fireman costumes and climbed onto a fire truck.

The Sports Room followed and we got to see he lockers of Philippine sporting greats like Bea Lucero for gymnastics & taekwondo and Paeng Nepomuceno for bowling. Of course, basketball will always have its section and in it were David and Goliath, I mean, Johnny Abarrientos and Shaquille O’Neal. The hit in this room, however, was wall climbing where they got to climb up to the ceiling and fall to the cushions below.




A museum tour wouldn’t be complete without a Filipiniana section where displays of Spanish, Chinese and American influences are aplenty. This section had more to offer though, for it also displayed a Spanish galleon (trader’s ship), a tranvia and a walk-in church. The kids got to rest in this room and did so by listening to one fantastic storyteller (ok, so I forgot her name too… I was listening to the story!). A special display of child heroes can be seen in this section as homage to acts of heroism by children, proving that selflessness and compassion knows no age.

The last room we explored was the Rainforest where we got to climb tree houses and one kid got lucky enough to bathe in the mini waterfall (lol!). As you may have noticed, there’s a lot of climbing that went on in the tour and for me, it’s the best kind of tour for these kids. Most of them have not set foot in a school or stopped before being taught how to read. Museo Pambata gave them a chance to learn without feeling inadequate. Unlike the usual antiseptic museums, the kids got to interact, experience, touch and feel everything. Their smiles and their laughter was proof of how much they enjoyed the tour and was more than enough of a reward for us volunteers knowing how hard life in the streets can be for such young, fragile bodies.

We took them to Jollibee for lunch and after, we held a puppet-making contest. Two winners, the most creative of the lot, were picked and given special prizes. As we came nearer to our goodbyes, a few of the kids stood up and thanked us for the special day. Glyr and Aileen also said their thanks on behalf of Child Hope Asia, adding how little acts of kindness like the tour give the street kids hope and help keep their belief that people still care for them. It is saddening to know that after we said goodbye, it’s back to the streets for the children. But with people like Glyr and Aileen and organizations like Child Hope Asia, we also hope there will come a time they won’t have to.

My Saturday mornings are usually dull and uneventful. But with GE Volunteers, I’m hopeful hangovers from nights before will soon be a thing of the past.

She has to die (July 2007 - August 2007)

She has to die

Wash
my soiled memory in its muddy stream
with your tongue's tip lick me clean
and remove every single trace
of what has been
of what binds me
of what comes to pass
alas!


Stalk
hunt her down for within me she fights
and when you have her in your sights
do not heed her pleas and cries
you know
that she has to die
this is her second demise
and so kill her again


Weep
i've done that before, all in vain
more sobs just wet the pillows again
despite my tries
i have a dried up heart
and swollen eyes


so Burn
burn when you sink into my bed of ice
it melts when you hug me like a vice
there's no more sorrow
no more gravity
if i have your body
like a flow of lava washing over me

my soiled memory in its muddy stream
Wash.



***this is a song from a subtitled foreign film. only the title is my own.
thank the gods for Youtube!

Of love (March 2005 - June 2005)

Of love

(Original posting August 10, 2008)


have you ever loved
for the sheer sake of it?
have you ever taken
a bite of the apple
for the taste of the fruit?
its sweetness and its zest...
have you often lost your way?


yes, i've already loved
for the sheer sake of it
but the apple was hard
and i cracked atooth
those unripe passions
those indigestible loves
often made me feel sick


but a true love that lasts
leaves lovers exhausted
and their overripe kisses
rot on our tongues


but fleeting love affairs
know such futile fevers
and their kisses so green
chafe against our lips
for if you wish to love
for the sheer sake of it
the worm in the apple
can slip between our teeth
it eats away at our heart
our brain and all the rest
slowly bleeding us dry


but when we dare to love
for the sheer sake of it
this worm in the apple
that slips between our teeth
can make our heart fragrant
our brain too and leave us
its perfume inside us


but fleeting love affairs
see such futile efforts
their passing caresses
can wear out our bodies


but a true love that lasts
makes the lovers less fine
often the test of time
gets the better of us.


love me less
but love me a long time.



***this is a song from a subtitled foreign film. only the title is my own.
thank the gods for Youtube!

Unrequited (May 2005 - August 2005)

Unrequited

(Original posting August 8, 2008)

the mystery of your weary gaze
a mystery that keeps you in a haze
the secret of this daze
secrets are my true craze


this barrier between you and me
this barrier who holds the key
cross the border, leave your daze
stand on your land, see my gaze
you need to advance to cover the distance
between you and me


you'll have to be bold if you want to hold
onto me


a chill grips your land these days
what to do in this winter maze
you're caught up in an icy daze
everything's frozen, start a blaze


the mystery of your weary gaze
a mystery i try to appraise
the cheap mystery of your daze...


doesn't need your arms these days




***this is a song from a subtitled foreign film. only the title is my own.
thank the gods for Youtube!

The Prequel to Harry Potter (1997-2007)

(Original posting July 25, 2008)

Courtesy of MuggleNet:

But let me make it easier for you:

The Story:

The speeding motorcycle took the sharp corner so fast in the darkness that both policemen in the pursuing car shouted,"Whoa!" Sergeant Fisher slammed his large foot on the brake, thinking that the boy who was riding pillion was sure to be flung under his wheels; however, the motorbike made the turn without unseating either of its riders, and with a wink of its red tail lights, vanished up the narrow side street.

"We've got 'em now!" cried PC Anderson excitedly. "That's a dead end!"

Leaning hard on the steering wheel and crashing his gears, Fisher scraped half the paint off the flank of the car as he forced it up the alleyway in pursuit.

There in the headlights sat their quarry, stationary at last after a quarter of an hour's chase. The two riders were trapped between a towering brickwall and the police car, which was now crawling towards them like some growling luminous-eyes predator.

There was so little space between the car doors and the walls of the alley that Fisher and Anderson had difficulty extricating themselves from the vehicle. It injured their dignity to have to inch, crab-like, towards the miscreants. Fisher dragged his generous belly along the wall, tearing buttons off his shirt as he went, and finally snapping off the wing mirror with his backside.

"Get off the bike!" he bellowed at the smirking youths, who sat basking in the flashing blue light as though enjoying it.

They did as they were told, finally pulling free from the broken wing mirror, Fisher glared at them. They seemed to be in their late teens. The one who had been driving had long black hair, his insolent good looks reminded Fisher unpleasantly of his daughter's guitar-playing, layabout boyfriend. The second boy also had black hair, though his was short and stuck up in all directions; he wore glasses and a broad grin. Both were dressed in t-shirts emblazoned with a large golden bird; the emblem, no doubt, of some deafening, timeless rock band.

"No helmet!" Fisher yelled, pointing from one uncovered head to the other. "Exceeding the speed limit by-by a considerable amount!" (In fact, the speed registered had been greater than Fisher was prepared to accept that any motorcycle could travel.) "Failure to stop for the police!"

"We'd have loved to stop for a chat," said the boy in glasses,"only we were trying--"

"Don't get smart-you two are in a heap of trouble!" snarled Anderson. "Names!"

"Names?" repeated the long-haired driver."Er-Well, let's see. There's Wilberforce...Bathsheba...Elvendork..."

"And what's nice about that one is, you can use it for a boy OR a girl," said the boy in glasses.

"Oh, our names, did you mean?" asked the first, as Anderson spluttered with rage."You should've said! This here is James Potter, and I'm Sirius Black!"

"Things'll be seriously black for you in a minute, you cheeky little-"

But neither James nor Sirius was paying attention. They were suddenly as alert as gundogs, staring past Fisher and Anderson, over the roof of the police car, at the dark mouth of the alley. Then, with identical, fluid movements, they reached into their back pockets.

For the space of a heartbeat both policemen imagined guns gleaming at them, but a second later they saw that the motorcyclists had drawn nothing more than-

"Drumsticks?" jeered Anderson. "Right pair of jokers, aren't you? Right, we're arresting you on a charge of--"

But Anderson never got to name the charge. James and Sirius had shouted something incomprehensible, and the beams from the headlights had moved.

The policemen wheeled around, then staggered backwards. Three men were flying-actually flying- up the alley on broomsticks-and at the same moment,the police car was rearing up on its back wheels.

Fisher's knee bucked; as he sat down hard; Anderson tripped over Fisher's legs and fell on top of him, as flump-bang-crunch- they heard the mean on brooms slam into the suspended car and fall, apparently insensible, to the ground, while broken bits of broomstick clattered down around them.

The motorbike had roared into life again. His mouth hanging open, Fisher mustered the strength to look back at the two teenagers.

"Thanks very much!" called Sirius over the throb of the engine."We owe you one!"

"Yeah, nice meeting you!" said James. "And don't forget: Elvendork! It's unisex!"

There was an earth-shaking crash, and Fisher and Anderson threw their arms around each other in fright; their car had just fallen back to the ground. Now it was the motorcycle's turn to rear. Before the policemen's disbelieving eyes, it took off into thin air: James and Sirius zoomed away into the night sky, their tail light twinkling behind them like a vanishing ruby.

From the prequel I am not working on - but that was fun! J.K. Rowling.2008

This prequel was sold at a charity auction for nearly $50 000! Sweet for something a tad short :)

The Dark Knight

(Original posting July 19, 2008)

I never thought I'd enjoy this movie as much as I did! I was never much of a Batman fan but this release hooked me in. This Christopher Nolan film is complete with all the ingredients of a great superhero movie: high octane action sequences, praise-worthy and believable performances by the cast, great plot, unexpected humor, minimal drama.

The cast is just simply stellar! I'm sold even with just the supporting actors (Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine). Caine is perfect with his dry wit as Alfred and Gyllenhaal gave more depth and strength to Rachel's character which would have otherwise been reduced to run-of-the-mill damsel in distress.

Christian Bale reprising the role of the Caped Crusader delivered. Complete with fangs and adopting a growling voice for the said character, he was a perfect choice. Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent was great in that he was able to show the emotions and psychosis that drove the "white knight of Gotham" to become the tormented freak known as Two-Face.


But the one who really shone in this film is the controversial actor Heath Ledger as the Joker. He was simply awesome in his portrayal of Batman's arch-nemesis. People say it is now the definitive Joker performance and will probably be one of the most celebrated villains in movie history. My favorite highlight was when Joker, hanging upside down, was giving Batman a piece of his twisted mind -- how an unstoppable force crashes into an immovable object and how these two will be destined to do battle forever. Then Joker says to Batman, "You complete me!" I laughed so hard i coughed! Simply clever and in perfect timing. It put a whole new spin to that line originally by Jerry Maguire.


However, as much as i loved Heath's performance, I don't see him in the Oscars, not even a nomination. I'm hoping the hype sustains him until the awards season but it really is a longshot.

The movie left some interesting observations on human behavior and the society at large, raising questions on who's life has more value, how pathetic our efforts are to take control of our own little worlds, how sick the world we live in now that no one remains pure, and other dilemmas of the human condition. These for me, elevated The Dark Knight from being just a popcorn blockbuster to truly becoming one of the great releases of an otherwise barren year for the movies.

Tennis Idol (July, 2003 - July 6, 2008)

Below is my first blog entry in my Multiply site. I am consolidating all my blogs from various networks into this one blogsite, Obi2uaries.

It's bad enough that the people you look up to in real life fail to deliver, then here's one of the rare celebrities i really idolize also failing to keep my hopes alive - failing to convert all but one of thirteen breakpoints to be exact!
But still my heart goes out to the fallen Roger Federer, still for me the greatest tennis player I've seen. More than anybody, this guy embodies a true champion - in heart and demeanour. Always he is gracious even in his hardest, biggest defeat by far. It's not just because he was not able to tie a record set more than a hundred years ago but losing in his favourite tournament, his favorite surface dealt him a hard blow, hopefully one he'd recover from.

To Rafael Nadal, the deserving winner, thank you for the sensitivity and the kind words. Congratulations!

Here's Roger, sullen with grace in defeat: